I DO realize I'm far from perfect.
I have daily, if not hourly, reminders, don't worry, of my overabundance of fallibility. But, like all of us flawed mortals, I sometimes can't stop myself from judging others, and the group that is in my laser-vision crosshairs this week is... wait for it...
They drive me insane. Flat-out, head-spinning-around-on-my-neck, INSANE.
They are, invariably, men. Men who would rather look like complete idiots, out shovelling their lawns, rather than inside, helping the wife with a load of laundry, pushing around a vacuum, a dust cloth, scrub a toilet, empty garbage cans, or even - gasp - sit down and have a cup of tea and a chat with her.
No. The lawn needs shovelling. LIKE YOU HAVEN'T HAD ENOUGH SHOVELLING OF THE *E*F*F*I*N*G* *D*R*I*V*E*W*A*Y* THIS WINTER!!!
I have daily, if not hourly, reminders, don't worry, of my overabundance of fallibility. But, like all of us flawed mortals, I sometimes can't stop myself from judging others, and the group that is in my laser-vision crosshairs this week is... wait for it...
Those Idiots Who Shovel The Snow Off Their Lawns Every Spring
They drive me insane. Flat-out, head-spinning-around-on-my-neck, INSANE.
They are, invariably, men. Men who would rather look like complete idiots, out shovelling their lawns, rather than inside, helping the wife with a load of laundry, pushing around a vacuum, a dust cloth, scrub a toilet, empty garbage cans, or even - gasp - sit down and have a cup of tea and a chat with her.
No. The lawn needs shovelling. LIKE YOU HAVEN'T HAD ENOUGH SHOVELLING OF THE *E*F*F*I*N*G* *D*R*I*V*E*W*A*Y* THIS WINTER!!!
OK. So, there's a lame argument to be made, that maybe he's just doing it for the fresh air and exercise.
Buy a dog. Go for a walk. Stop looking like a chore-dodging moron.
(...and don't get me started about those who shovel the snow into the street!! Arses of the first order, every single one, no exceptions, I don't care where you live, or the legendary height of the snow around your house. Just sayin'...)
Not only that, but it is a well-documented fact that those with heart disease are at an increased risk of a heart attack in the winter, related to shovelling snow (lawn or otherwise). So tell me, Einstein, is it worth widowing your wife in order to get ahead of the green grass curve? I think not.
The only people who look stupider than lawn shovellers are... wait for it...
I can't even begin, or I'll have a stroke...
.
Buy a dog. Go for a walk. Stop looking like a chore-dodging moron.
(...and don't get me started about those who shovel the snow into the street!! Arses of the first order, every single one, no exceptions, I don't care where you live, or the legendary height of the snow around your house. Just sayin'...)
Not only that, but it is a well-documented fact that those with heart disease are at an increased risk of a heart attack in the winter, related to shovelling snow (lawn or otherwise). So tell me, Einstein, is it worth widowing your wife in order to get ahead of the green grass curve? I think not.
The only people who look stupider than lawn shovellers are... wait for it...
Those Idiots Who Snowblow Their Lawns Every Spring
I can't even begin, or I'll have a stroke...
.
