Sunday, March 6, 2011

...in sickness and in health, until Facebook do us part...

I saw an interesting headline on CBC's website Saturday - "Facebook cited in 20% of US divorces". You can see it yourself, here.

Is the world going mad?

If 1 in 5 couples are divorcing because of Facebook, then the conclusion I am led to is that those same 1 in 5 couples should never have married in the first place, Facebook or no.

If all it takes, as the article says, is for long-lost high school sweethearts to friend each other on Facebook, for one thing to lead to another and ultimately bring a marriage to its knees, then it was a pathetic excuse for a marriage from the get-go, and the two soon-to-be-divorced people deserve every bit of misery they get.

And, not only that, but blaming the marriage failure on social media websites is nonsense. Yes, sites like Facebook allow people to reconnect in ways that were not possible not all that long ago. I concede that fact. But just because people can reconnect easily with those from their past should not automatically mean the demise of one or both of their marriages. The marriage was in big trouble anyway, IMHO, and they were going to find someone, somehow. Facebook just made it easy, but it was going to happen, anyway. 

Will people ever realize that marriage is more than a big splashy party with a flouncy white dress? There seems to be more effort, dedication and commitment made to ensure nice flowers, a decent caterer and gawd-awful dresses than there is to making any kind of long-term (read "lifelong") plans about finances, shared responsibilities, and child rearing.

This article is reduced to suggesting that not only children's, but also adult's computers should be in public view in a home and spouses should share passwords to prevent this type of temptation. If THAT'S supposed to be the key to saving a marriage, then there is no marriage! If the only thing keeping me on the straight and narrow is knowing my spouse could see what I may or may not have written to someone, then I'm not staying on the straight and narrow for very long. It's too stupid to be believed.

It's very sad. But it's not about Facebook. It's about people who had no business getting married in the first place.  

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